Leather....

So I was diggin’ in Idiot’s closet, hoping to find some of that food Wannabe sent to him a while back, but I came across something better. Much better.
Seems my good ole boy was trying to make a move on this lady. She was a seamstress or something. I remember they would talk in chats and mail, but it was some time before they met. One night, Idiot said he was going to meet her…came back really upset. I did my pet thing, walked up to him & could sense he was upset….so I did what every good pet does. Peed on his bow.
Anyways, I found this note that I guess he wanted to send to her, but never finished it. Now it makes sense why he doesn’t talk about her anymore. Man, I wish I had seen this note earlier:

We all make mistakes. We date the wrong people for too long. We chew gum with our mouths open. We say inappropriate things in front of grandma.

And we buy leather pants.

I can explain these pants and why they are in my possession. I bought them many, many years ago under the spell of another hunter whom I believed to have taste. She suggested I try them on. I did. She said they looked good. I wanted to have a relationship of sorts with her. I’m stupid and prone to impulsive decisions. I bought the pants.

The relationship, probably for better, never materialized. The girl, whose name I can’t even recall, is a distant memory. I think she was short. Not gnome-short, but short. I’m a hunter; I can’t wear anything stronger than leather until I prove myself. What am I supposed to do? I know you like cloth – I really do too, but you know…the guys…..

These were not cheap leather pants. They are Epic leather pants. They’re for hunters..men. Brave men, I would think. Perhaps tattooed, pierced men. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say you either have to be very tough, very gay, or very famous to wear these pants and get away with it. I'm very tough, you know...I fight often without my bear...

I found the pants. Ultimately they were placed in the closet where they have remained, unworn, for nearly months. I’m pulling them out to taunt Idiot. Heh, heh…..tough guy....