8-05-2005, Westfall
“Frug,
It seems as though you may be upsetting some of the other pets in the guild. Some of the guild members are claiming to get ‘the eye’ from their pets, as if in a sign of distrust. With that in mind, I’ve been instructed to insist you cease from enticing the pets in RWOA. Failure to comply may lead to disciplinary action. Thanks for your attention to this matter. “
I got this note one morning next to my (poor excuse of a) bed from my idiot. You gotta be kidding me. First off, puddin-boy can’t get the guts to talk to me. He wrote a note. Wow, no wonder you’ve got ME going toe-to-toe with everything….surprised you don’t send them a note saying “please die” – anyways, I gave Idiot my answer by relieving myself on his bow & arrows. Heh…guess that clam meat was good for something after all. That note did force to take a close look at some of the other pets. Saw a couple bears, wolves, a spider, some snake thing….and then I saw it. I thought Idiot was bad. I thought Wannabe was the worst I had seen. But this takes the cake: A mechanical pet. Like a squirrel or something. Who in the world calls a bucket of bolts their pet? That’s just wrong. It creaks, buzzes, you hear all these gears….and THEY DON’T DO ANYTHING!! No bite, no growl…heck, no lasers from their little mechanical squirrel eyes….they’re just there. What kind of help is that?? It’s bad enough I’ve got to compete with spiders and wolves but now I need to worry about robots? It’s the gnomes making these things, I know….I’ve always thought they could be the easy track to bulking up for hibernation. Gotta pick my moment….
Well, all for now….but for all of you that are worried about ‘the eye’ you may be getting from your pets? Well, it ain’t cuz of me. You need to ask yourself a couple of questions: when was the last time I let my pet have some ‘quality time’ with another of his kind? You sure you’re reading that “eye” right?
I suppose that’d be one good thing about a robot chicken. Loser.