Monday, September 26, 2005

violated

7-14-2005 , Ashenvale
Well, that first column went over like a fart in Teldrassil with my idiot. Since I said I didn’t want the clam meat, now I’m stuck with bread. Bread. What kind of fool expects a bear to do his best by eating bread. So I left him know I don’t like it….and he threatens me with nothing but some fungus food. I’m gonna SO waste him when he’s in his ‘state of rest’.
And about his friend, the wannabe bear..I’m about done with her/him/whatever, too. We’re heading towards the big city across the ocean or something – I think Idiot wanted to meet up with the guild-who-won’t-recognize-me and when we get there, Wannabe is there. OK, fine, I don’t care – I’m talking with the other pets like Ravager and Spidermon, when all of the sudden Wannabe turns into her faux bear form and gets RIGHT OVER ME! She can’t stand still, moving all around. You gotta be kiddin me. There’s gnomes here, you don’t do that. Idiot tells her to leave me alone – good thing cuz I was about to gut her. And I can, too. She said it was just because Idiot keeps crying because I’m so small. I can’t help it if when he ‘tamed me’ (his term, not mine – I got issues there, too), I shrunk. You think I like becoming smaller!?!? Half the reason I’m tolerating all this running he’s doing is that I hope he can loot some type of bear-growth charm.
Now, about this trip to visit his friends. We’re in Ashenvale, and he hops on this flying thing that looks worse than Wannabe’s backside. And he flys away…great. I gotta run to Darkshore, now. What’d he think, that when he took flight I just faded away and would reappear at his beckon call? Fortunately he let me take the boat with him….and then here we go again…I gotta run through the Wetlands, Loch Modan, Searing Gorge (real fun), Blasted Lands…finally getting to this big city. And we didn’t even go in! We took a picture. Woo-woo. I figure after all that we’d take a break. Nope. I gotta run all the way back to Ashenvale. And what do I get for all that? A mushroom.

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